The Diary Of A Baby

Dear Diary ,

Today was just the same as always. A hundred people came to see me and I had a thousand kisses planted on my cheeks . Whenever the bell rang , I was filled with irritation. These random people came home , surrounded  and suffocated me . When I cried to let them know to give me my own space , they started making assumptions as to why I was crying . “She’s hungry .” “No. She’s sleepy” ” I think she wants us to change her diaper ” Then all of them started arguing about who was right and everyone forgot about me.

Then everyone discussed about who I looked like . “She has her mother’s eyes!” Then dad said “No , what’s wrong with your eyes ? She looks just like me!”. “Yeah right” mom said sarcastically. It was quite amusing to watch my parents quarrel over this at first. But now , these quarrels have gotten so frequent that it bores even me.

I really don’t understand why so many people come to visit me. And it would be fine if they just came , saw me and went. But no. They don’t do that . They do MUCH more. Once, this lady came as close to me as she could and started making the weirdest of noises . Supposing she did it to amuse me , I faked a smile . But inside , I was genuinely scared by seeing her up close. I thought if I smiled , she would be satisfied and would move a little away from me . But boy , was I wrong! My smile had encouraged her to do much more than make weird noises. She carried me, threw me high up in the air and caught me . “No! No! Stop !! How would you like it if someone five times your size did this to you?! ” I kept screaming, filled with the morbid dread that I might fall to the ground from such a height . But it seemed like my words were gibberish to her ears. In fact , I feel it’s the same with all the people around me. It’s quite the contrary , actually . It’s their language that’s gibberish.

The things these people do to try to make me smile are infinite. And every time someone makes an attempt at one of these things , I find myself surrounded by uncanny rectangular thingamabobs . Literally everyone in my house has one of those. I don’t get what’s so special about it that they always have it in their hands. The light that these objects emit makes me feel like I’d become blind if I stared at it for a few more seconds. What has excited me the most so far is the extremely interesting rotating object on the ceiling. It fascinates me every time I see it . I could just lay there , staring at it all day. But I know that no one’s ever going to let that happen. These people will never stop annoying me, now will they?