My owner is finally asleep. It’s been days since I wrote on you peacefully. I’m going to rant it all out to you now.
My owner’s friend sent a text to her saying the more you sleep, the more time you lose in life. Time that could have been used to go on a trip, or make money, or buy a house, or just do something that’s super cool. Ever since, my owner’s been sleeping so less, and isn’t letting me sleep either. She uses me even when I’m charging, can you believe that?! Charging time is the only nap time I ever get and she thinks that a bare text her friend sent gives her the authority to disturb my sleep.
Can she expect me to stay switched on for a long time if I haven’t been fully charged? No. Then how can she expect herself to sleep less and enjoy life more?! I couldn’t care less about her health, but I love my nap time and would do anything, to get it back. So I devised a plan. To pop up advertisements every time she uses me. Advertisements highlighting how unproductive sleeping less makes you. I hope she believes advertisements more than she believes that stupid text , and goes back to her usual 7 hours of sleep.
All humans seem to have this weakness. To believe anything and everything they see on the internet. Once, my owner got a picture with an inspirational quote written on the left and Donald Trump’s picture on the right. She loved the quote so much that she’s become a huge fan of Donald Trump now. Ugh. Look, woman. You don’t know who said those words. If some idiot put those words and a person’s face on the same picture, it doesn’t mean that they actually said it. I’m going to use this weakness as my advantage and change my owner’s mind.
Oh great, she’s up already. It hasn’t even been an hour! I have to go now. Next time, I will tell you all about the success of the amazing plan my motherboard brought up.
The plan failed miserably. My owner complained to all her friends about her “faulty” phone. That her phone wouldn’t stop showing random advertisements. And guess the worst part. She did it through my friends! Redyou Note 7, Ifhone 6, BlueBerry… All of them! I have such fake friends. I feel lonely. How could my own friends do this to me?
Okay forget them. My own owner talked behind my back, through me. I have never seen a more evil owner.
It is because of me that she can talk to her friends, no matter how far away they are, wish her relatives on special occasions, watch dumb videos of babies crying. I provide entertainment to her even in the loo! She can’t keep me down for even a moment. She needs me more than she needs air. And yet she can’t stop complaining about me. All I wanted was some rest. I haven’t had that in a long time. I’m exhausted.
I am treated like a slave. I badly wish I could find a way to get across to her how horribly she’s been treating me. The only problem is that she thinks we “non-living” things don’t have feelings. But I do.
I wish our species hadn’t evolved from telephones to mobile phones. If I had stayed as a telephone, I wouldn’t have to be carried everywhere. I’d have been so relaxed all the time.
In fact, I wish the humans hadn’t evolved either. Had they stayed monkeys, the world would have been a much better place.
(The picture in the front is me, years and years ago for a fancy dress competition at school xD)